My Precious Flower
By Carol Blansett
The walk is long down the corridor, passing one, two, three nurses’ stations and a sea of white heads, mostly people in wheelchairs. Soon, captured in my vision is one so dear to me ~ my mother! She is the sweetest mother I could have ~ a blessing straight from God! How fragile and how dear is she! Her name is Flora, ‘Flower.’
Mother is one leaning over in the wheelchair, having entertained Parkinson’s for years now in her frail body. At only 92 pounds, she no longer reaches five feet tall anymore, but used to love to say she’s like the song, “Five feet two, eyes of blue.”
No, hers is not the smiling face in the 1950’s pictures I remember, nor the 60’s ones in her 40’s with three teens in high school at once, to rear alone in life. Gone is most of the facial expression of her youth and past disease-free existence. She is now 88, and having resided with me for fifteen years, she now lives in a nursing home. How I miss her at home! Sometimes, I think I hear her cough in the other room.
In early October this year, a stroke made the decision to place her there after a two weeks’ hospitalization. It’s a decision I would not want to make otherwise, although she has required increasing assistance and a home health aide for the past two and a half years during the daytime. The stroke deprived her of normal eating, of which she is so fond, the one thing to look forward to in her quiet life. She received Meals on Wheels for years for the element of surprise on a daily basis. Now, all her foods are puréed mounds, and all liquids are thickened to lessen the chance of aspiration into the lungs, while residents surrounding her at the table are eating fried chicken and normal foods.
I have many regrets, looking down through the years, of my selfish heart and impatience shown her at times, in trying to accomplish household chores, paperwork, etc. However, God does not leave me there to look upon the past, but is expanding my territory as I asked of Him.
Mother lived through the depression with parents who never forgot to be careful and thrifty. Her father was a linotype operator for the Houston Herald in Houston , Missouri for years, and pastor of a couple of small churches in the area later in life. Flora is the eldest of three daughters, marrying in her late 20’s to deliver three children before being deserted by our father to rear us alone with God’s help.
Mom never had a cigarette touch her lips, nor an alcoholic drink. How many people can say that? She essentially led a very sheltered life as a nanny in Kansas City , then in a small Missouri town, walking to work at the shoe factory on a hard cement floor, inspecting shoes for 20 years until retirement, where she crocheted miles of afghans in many bright colors for her family.
The ether used to clean glue off shoes probably contributed to her Parkinson’s, but it can never be proven. Once, she brought home a cupcake to us as children that were saturated with the ether fumes she could not notice, working with them day in and day out. Although we rarely had sweets and it looked so good (can you say, “snowball cupcake in the 60’s?”) we could not even consider taking a bite.
I am so blessed to have chosen a quality nursing home a few years ago near work, so I can visit most days. My yard man’s wife works there and also has her mother there, and with that information and God’s paving the way to get to this time, He has truly blessed us both. I have researched options; kept resources list for her care, and have realized for years that I grieve the loss of my mother even while she is yet here. She is unable to be active and lead a normal lifestyle, to make decisions, and she is essentially ‘my child’ to protect and oversee her care; to fight for her, to ask questions and get answers needed to proceed.
But God ~ those words I cherish ~ I circle them in my Bible ~ has made provision! He is faithful to the end! How many times do you find in the Word, “ but God” ~ the situation was this ~ “ but God” ~ in His infinite mercy and grace, stepped in and made a way!!!
Currently, He is growing me, expanding my territory, redeveloping a sense of humor I had in high school (has it been that long? 40 years? since I married right out of high school and forgot how to laugh?). My God has given me a new ministry, playing hymns at the nursing home piano once or twice a week, in addition to playing for a small church on Sunday nights, my job at a children’s home I love, answering the switchboard, creating and maintaining computer records and greeting the public. It is with excitement and anticipation that I look forward to what service He has for my life, as I am ‘Saved to Service,’ dedicated and recorded in my Bible years ago.
I praise Him for His matchless grace and comfort through this changing pattern of my days. I stand on Psalm 18: He is my Rock, my Fortress and my Deliverer; my Strength, my Shield and the Horn of my Salvation, my Stronghold. Wow! It will take me all my life to even begin to digest and understand the meaning in these words. He is able . . . able to deliver me from my confusion, my fears about the future, my every worry and concern.
I have seen how He takes care of Mother. He knew she made little money in that shoe factory, but she rented a small house and had a small car, and managed to save a little money along the way. He could magnify her faith and take care of her through Medicare and Medicaid, Barnes Eye Clinic and the Hearing Center , the neurologist and her primary care doctor, her caregiver and me. If He cares about a small sparrow and takes care of Mother, whose world is very small, her outreach is minimal except to family, whose communication is minimal, how it increases my faith!
I would like to encourage you, as well! The Word is available to us all, but are we making ourselves available to It? I confess there is more time I could give to God’s Word, so I challenge myself and you to get in there and dig for what He wants to share with us, to empower us as only He can!
Copyright © December 9, 2005 – Carol Blansett. All rights reserved.
Back to Articles Main Page : : : : Back to Articles Sorted By Writer : : : : Back to Articles Sorted by Title
|
